On Loss

My beloved dog Bessie died 2 days ago - riddled with cancer. Not the first time my best friend has ended his/her life on a vet's table. Here's something I wrote, as much for myself as for others:
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On the Death of a Beautiful Animal.

The pain is there. The tears are there. And there is nothing,
absolutely NOTHING you can do about it.
Let it be.
Let the tears come.
Let it be.
Accept the loss.
Hard, I know, but there's no choice anyway.

And the emptiness, the great gaping hole in your heart - let that be there also.
Let it be - don't try to fill it.
Don't try to escape it.
Don't try to do ANYTHING with it.
You can't anyway.

And then something dies in you.
Something dies, and already the healing begins.
And there will come a time when you can remember, but there will be no bitterness anymore.

And what you loved about them - the strength, or bravery,
The gentleness or playfullness.
The unquestioning love they gave.
The absence of pretense and artifice - so lacking in humans.
THAT is not lost.
No - THAT is not lost.

There will come a time when you see those very things are now in yourself.
They are a part of YOU.
It is your friend's bequest to you.

So I thank you, you beautiful animal
For what you gave me
In life
And in death.
Last edited by Charles214; 06-26-2008 at 04:55 AM. Reason: afterthought
Comments: copied from old site software

I have never read a more beatiful piece. i lost my Baby girl after 18 years of her giving me love and fun and so much joy and the hole in my heart is hugh reading this will help  -- Catwoman

 

Thank you

Charles,
I could not have expressed myself what you have written.
Thank you for giving words to a pain that cannot often be truly described to others..but that exists for far too many of us.

Lisa and Rayne (12/18/08)

Default Beyond death?

I was in two minds whether to post this. I do not know what you will make of it. I don't really know what to make of it myself..

Bessie came back, about a week or so after she died. First night, I was awoken by something pawing at the bedsheets. At first I thought it was my other dog, little Titch (who died about 5 months after her lifelong friend). But no, it was too high up, and too heavy. And anyway, Titch was downstairs. Was it a dream?

A few nights later, a heavy weight on the bed, taking up space and hogging most of the bed. Just as she used to do when alive. It was not a dream. I was awake enough to question it. Was it an illusion? Maybe the bedcovers tangled in some way? But no, it was alive - breathing and the occasional twitch, just as sleeping dogs do.

Through the tears I told her; 'Go say hello to God, Bessie.' This because this wonderful animal would 'go say hello' to ANYONE. Sit with them, and make a fuss, especially with children.

It has not been back since.

What to make of it I don't know. Did she come to spend one last night? To let me know it's OK? To give some comfort? Or did my grief 'conjure it up'?

Whatever it was, the thought of such a love that extends even beyond death is almost more than my heart can bear.

Bless you, Bess.

Last edited by Charles214; 03-07-2009 at 07:50 PM

 

 

I grief for my dog by keeping her cloth with me. There is a dark cloth that she was fond of when she was alive. She couldn't sleep without the cloth. So I decided to keep the cloth near me as a remembrance. -- Miano