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  • Cindle Lillith

      IN MEMORY OF: My cat of almost 19 years, Cindle Lillith, passed over the Rainbow Bridge on the morning of Dec. 14th, 2015. Being so elderly her health was steadily declining, especially over the last several months. She mostly sleep, kept to herself, had arthritis, ingrown claws, etc. that made it more difficult for her to get around/do things, her dementia was intensifying and there were various other concerns, including a benign slow-growing mass on her back that worsened -having to be drained every few days which caused her pain and then became infected causing her more hurt and could have spread making her more sick or worse (and she was too fragile, even if I'd had money, to undergo surgery). So I made the very painful decision to put her to sleep, as I didn't want to see her continue to loss her quality of life nor to hurt more and more. I'd so hoped she'd passed in her sleep for I'd not have had to feel such guilt over being the one making the decision to put her down. I hope she knows I was trying to do my best by her and she's in a far better place now.  

     I'd spent the days before her vet appointment for her euthanasia to snuggle with her, give her treats, love her up, as well as trying to get my other two feline furkids, who grew up with her, to spend some time with her. Although I did not get to hold her I was there beside her weeping, stroking her, telling her how much I loved her when the vet injected her and then quickly the life left her beautiful blue eyes -she was gone and part of my heart, part of me, went with her. Oh I hurt beyond words!


     I've lost pets before, but I've never had a furkid for as long as I had Cindle and we went through everything together -moves, two marriages, losses, homelessness, sickness, continuing hardships... Cindle was a shelter kitten who was given to me by my first husband right after we married, the first piece of our little family. Being a military wife we moved around to different states even overseas, so Cindle and her companion, Trista Aislinn, my other feline furkid who I got a year later (as a kitten too, in a different state) were my family and yes, my kids. Trista had cancer and was euthanized in the same vet clinic back in Jan. '09 (she is also on this memorial site) and I find some comfort in knowing that Trista was there to welcome Cindle and that they're together once again. I literally would not be alive today save for my one constant -my furkids- needing them as much as they need me, sustained by their unfaltering companionship, their true selves and pure love. Now I mourn/miss both my Cindle & my Trista so so very much!

     As one who's struggled all my life with mental illness I've many emotions/emotional instabilities and animals have always helped me so much and can relate to them in many ways, sometimes more than humans. Animals do not judge or hate, they love unconditionally and are always there, especially when you're all alone and need them the most. So all of this was with my beloved fur-baby Cindle! Who I no longer have to snuggle under the covers with, to sniff and lick at my eyes, to hold like a baby and be lulled by her long-lasting purrs. Now I only have her collar, her ashes, a lock of her fur -next to Trista's box of ashes, her fur, collar- and of course the many years of memories and love.

     So fortunate to have shared so much of my life/our lives together, though I wish my kindred spirit, my child, was still here with me. None can replace my Cindle -the sweet little soul, my faithful beautiful furry angel, whom I am better for having known and loved. This soul-wrenching sorrow is raw, but I'll always feel her loss as I do with my Trista still. I'd be lost if I did not have my two remaining girls (Kira & Bonney) to grieve with, to love/be loved, and who, through ongoing worsening crisis, are truly all I've left and the only reason I keep struggling along. My heart hurts...I miss you... 




     RIP CINDLE LILLITH -- May '97 - Dec. '15

      ~ Forever & always in my heart!! 



    Pet Memorial Details

    • Pets Date of Birth May 1, 1997
    • Date of Passing December 14, 2015
    • Favorite Toy catnip snake

    Pet Memorial Album (2 photos)

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